That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
