I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Randomize
