So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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