all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
