Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
