Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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