So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Randomize
