There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
