Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Randomize
