dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
