I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
