dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Randomize
