new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
I have post one night stand depression
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