Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
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