i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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