I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
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