Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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