I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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