how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
