The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Randomize
