I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize
