I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
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