well I can't set my house on fire every night
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
last night I used snow as a chaser
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
