i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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