So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
there is puke in my bra ... again
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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