let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
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