how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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