dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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