oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
