this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
