dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
