ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
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