Porn is love you can see.
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Randomize
