I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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