I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
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