You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Randomize
