Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
We need to rekindle our bromance
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Alive.
So much puke
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
