if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
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