Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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