i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
