That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
