bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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