Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
