It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
