it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
