i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize
