Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
