Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Randomize
