Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
