Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
Is it because I queefed?
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
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