he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
