what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Randomize
