I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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