i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Randomize
