My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
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