i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
