ya dads aren't the best wingmen
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
