On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Randomize
