yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
