Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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