I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
