First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
