Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
You need a sexual gate keeper
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
