shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
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