I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
This baby is an asshole
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Randomize
