I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
so much tequila, so little girl.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize