Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
