I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
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