grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
