She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
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