dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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